of moments and consequences

Is it really true that a single moment in one's life can define it as a whole? That a single moment can trigger a complete doctoral degree of consequences, that in turn defines your fate? The answers to that I do not know, and well I don't think I'll ever "really" know. Reason being that life, like most things in this world is never an exact science. It is an artful representation that can be interpreted in infinite ways. So I can never be sure that my experiences reflect the experiences as a whole, and are not just some anomaly of the standard, if there is a standard, that is. And we can just go on and on with argument and counter arguments and have a session of the parliament at our hands, so much talk, so much toil, and so little to show of it!

But what I do know is that you can live on for years and not really go through any real change except for the methodical change that time induces. But eventually you are exactly the same person. And what I do know is that you can be strolling around in no specific direction, with no specific thoughts in mind, just a song or two doing rounds in the head, and WHAM! A single moment, a single sight, and you are off your feet, completely off track, shooting off in some completely new projectile trajectory. And that moment, that particular instant can have the direst consequences in your life, good or bad...

Now this moment, this epiphany, if I may call it that, does not have to be something out of the ordinary. It can just be a toddler trying to hold on to his mother's coat to keep up, an old man sitting on a bench, completely still, surrounded by rushed movements that are always out of time, out of breath. It can even be an some self-involved, ostentatious kid feeling all important in some slick designer wear. Things that you see and witness every day, and don't give a second thought to. And these things at another time stop you in your tracks, dead still. Or they can just register themselves in some hidden depth of your mind, and then pop-up out of nowhere someday, and again stop you in your tracks, dead still.

If I want I can recount many such moments in my life, that somehow had an effect on me. Things that helped me (or rather forced me) to reach particular decisions. Decisions that affected my life and the lives of those attached to me. And what follows now is a series of consequences, bundled with a few more moments. Sort of like the circle of life! Again I don't know, and I guess I really don't want to know. See for me it's like the stuff inside a girl's bathroom, stuff that you're always better off never finding out about!

At least that's my bearing on it. But no matter what the moments, no matter what the consequences, what really matters is the journey, what we call life. See I've begun to feel that you really have to live it right here, right now. Of course there's the life after death to look forward to, but we keep saying stuff like get out of your past, it cannot be changed, forget tomorrow, for it's too uncertain, and just live in today. So why not apply this theory to the comparison between life and the life after death. Why not relish and bathe in the joys of this life. And I guess if I have any new years resolutions then this would be it, to appreciate every moment, and cherish every consequence.

To love in sickness and in health, till death do us part.

Hah!