Ever had that day where you wake up in the morning all fresh and ready to take on the world. In the best mood that you've woken up in quite a while. You spring out of the bed, sing in the shower, cut yourself shaving, and nearly hop-scotch to the office. And then suddenly your barometer goes down. Everything just slows down and starts to drag around you. Eating you up in its slow, yet certain movements. An immense effect of haze created, your being engulfed in it.
Well this has been my day so far, started out at such a high note, without any reason, and then turned into one of the most excruciating passages of time in recent memory, again due to no particular reason. It's events like this that make me think that discovering one's self is quite a task. See the way I perceive this is that there must be some reason for the mood swings the size of the suez canal, it's just that the reason (or reasons) are hidden, and beyond the waking reach, perhaps lying in the subconscious, drifting farther from reach. And the more I try to figure out the rhyme and reason, further the logic drifts from reach...
It's ambiguities like these that make me want to meet the Divinity behind all of this, to just be able to stand in the presence and get answers to these emotions.
It's really peculiar how all religions speak of all the major problems, and never once come to speak of all that lies in between. The little things that we feel day in and out, every moment of our waking existence. The things that I feel make us what we are, and keep up our evolution.
My problem is most definitely these little things, and due to these I can never reach a decision on the bigger, more obvious, clichéd things. I'm not trying to justify myself, or redeem myself, just saying what I'm feeling right now! And that can’t be too big of a crime now can it?
What say about this?
Till next time then...
Sunday, April 03, 2005
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