Dawning of a new year...

So here we go again! The usual resolutions plague my mind as I step through the door to welcome 09, and bid a tired and much needed good bye to 08.

This has been a bad year in every sense of the word to the whole world. If there is a mother nature and a mother earth, they would both be putting their feet up with a big beer in their hands, and taking a deep breath.

I am actually excited by the dawning of this new year, as I feel change in the air (not an Obama reference). A make or break sort of a moment. I'm not too optimistic about the change, but a change is needed anyway, good or bad, but change nevertheless.

The process of growing up is actually a process of accepting change more graciously. The more gracious you become in your acceptance, the more grown-up you are. Gone are the final days of high-school where you would sit down on your favorite bench, stationary in your resolve to hold time hostage. Gone are the promises of always being this together. Gone, too, is the feeling of irrepressible loss and heartbreak. Everything changes, but most of all, we change. Given the current state of affairs I feel we all need to change. Change into beings more in tune with empathy, or change into such heartless shits that nothing matters but us.

Boy! Isn't self-preservation just lovely. It can take us places we never thought we'd visit, and justifies our being there in the most resolute of manners. Heck, given the proper opportunity, it would even justify buying a house in Newark and settling there!

I guess I am very lucky to be saying good-bye to 08 with plans of celebrating new-years eve to the wee hours of the morning, and then sleeping though most of the first new day of the year. Heck, I could have been scampering about trying to save my life, not even aware, or rather conscious of the dawning of the new year. So yes, I do feel truly blessed with good fortune (albeit bad or no hair).

So to follow tradition, here are a few of my new documented resolutions...

I will quit smoking
I will talk to more strangers
I will be more self-absorbed (notice, please, the focus on "I")

My other resolutions are in my head, and will remain there (hopefully not getting lost in the pot-infested labyrinths of my brain). The rest, as they say, is history and the making of it.

A 4-Month Hiatus

So, I've been away from this world for 4 months. Well not completely away, as I did come to the blogs I like to follow, but I did try to refrain from making my presence felt. The endeavor, however, had more to do with eternal procrastination then being pseudo-intellectual.

Everything has changed in these last 4 months. The earth is now a completely peaceful place. All the wars have ended. People have stopped fighting, lying, cheating, and moralizing. There hasn't been an un-natural death in these past 4 months, and you can now only die from smoking or boredom.

All the former members of Led Zeppelin have embraced the existence of God and are now working to erase Lucifer from their memories. On the other hand, Pink Floyd's "Lucifer Sam" will now be referred to as "Our adoring uncle Sam".

Children can now speak to strangers without the fear of being touched in their naughty places. The word rape has been removed from all dictionaries, as it is not relevant anymore, and no one understands its meaning.

The Israelis and Palestinians packed their bags and have gone fishing. Of course they are fishing on the principal of catch and release. The fish hooks are made of jello instead of pointy metal. People have stopped eating meat, as animals have equal rights now.

The terrorists are collaborating with Disney to make a new animated movie about grilling "humus" in caves.

The armies all over the world have been disbanded, and all the released soldiers have revived the hippy culture. They're all currently writing a book titled "A 1001 uses of pot".

The only worries now are the worsening state of the Carolina Hurricanes, and what the whole world should do with this newly found euphoria.

I, in the meantime have sprouted wings and am taking flying lessons with pigs...