A little read and some ruminations

Let me start with a little abstract from Nightfall by Isaac Asimov. Sorry for any and all copyright infringements (not really)...

He was going mad, and knew it, and somewhere deep inside a bit of sanity was screaming, struggling to fight off the hopeless flood of black terror. It was very horrible to go mad and know that you were going mad - to know that in a little minute you would be here physically and yet all the real essence that was you would be dead and drowned in the black madness. For this was the Dark - the Dark and the Cold and the Doom. The bright walls of the universe were shattered and their awful black fragments were falling down to crush and squeeze and obliterate him.

Well a friend recommended Asimov to me (and thank you to that friend), and it was a read very well worth the while. It's amazing how you can take a simple idea, like the affect of darkness on people who live in complete light and do not know what night / darkness is, and make it an elaborately complex and truly engrossing tale. During the course of the book, I had this constant feeling that I was being made conscious of the things I'd always been aware of. Another aspect of this science fiction book (even though I never felt it was science fiction) was the humanity of its characters. All the five major characters were flawed just like all of us are, and yet they chose paths that were beyond themselves, beyond their own petty needs and greed...paths leading to what we feel is heroism, and somehow conclude to be a bit out of our reach.

It's always heartening to read about an average Joe going on, on a journey, which when viewed at microscopic details is just an series of everyday decisions that all of us make. But when you view it at the highest level of abstraction, it is a marvel! An act of extreme heroism and valor. I've always preferred these Joes over say Super Man. And I guess the reason for that is quite obvious.

But I truly feel that we need these small doses which re-establish our faith in humanity as a whole, because without it we just become directionless, self-sufficing zombies. Now these small doses can come in all sorts of forms, religious callings, small everyday observations, or reading a book that was written decades ago for some completely different purpose, but served this purpose anyway...

See as long as I can carry forward this hope that someday we would have a world without armies, without violence, theft, cruelty (both physical and mental), I feel I can carry on with this life entrusted to me. You might laugh at the naivety of this thought, heck even I might be laughing at it a week from now, but really, it just boils down to this. To be able to have faith in the goodness of our race of homo sapiens (which the dictionary defines as "bipedal primates having language and ability to make and use complex tools"), and to be able to surrender to it. See if we believe that the essence of every new born is goodness then why should this ideology be considered naive. It's always better then living with some nihilistic delusions, and letting them take control! See for me these wars being waged in the name of peace would never be anything but nihilism.

I for one believe in society and hopefully always will...may Allah be with me.

Welcome back

We never give a flu or a cold much importance in our lives, they're like those uncles who you meet every other wedding you attend. Whose hands you shake warmly, with big and nearly honest smiles, and then move on. Most probably to the table that's serving the pudding! Well this past week I was hanging out with both the uncles, cold and flu, accompanied by their school chum, the fever. This was perhaps the most elaborate rendezvous I've had with them. I am sure my mother would have some horrid memories of some encounter I had with them as a toddler, but this is the one for me as far as my memory is concerned. Which isn't really something to brag about, memory I mean, to site an example a friend of mine sent me back a substantial amount of money, saying she owed me that money, and I still don't remember how, why, when or where!

Three cheers for me...

So finally today I said farewell to these uncles, and dragged myself to work, and dragged myself in nearly the literal sense. Amazing how lazy you can get with just 3 days on the bed. Couple that with the re-runs of all your favorite shows (there was even a special of Mork and Mindy), and you never want to leave! O I wanted so much to just break the alarm clock and go back to my dreams in techni-colour (for a change)! And another good change was the smell of the morning air, and only the people who've breathed in it would know how refreshing that can be.

Who am I kidding, I'd still have preferred to be in my room, just surfing channels and catching Sienfeld and Mork&Mindy re-runs...

So what've I accomplished since last time I blogged:
1) Desert Safari (fun at place, like dune bashing and camel rides)
2) Full recovery from viral infections (a craze in changing weathers)
3) Before Sunset (a complete post shall be dedicated to that)
4) Other movies that I really wanted to see, Sideways, Black, etc (all good, very good)

The rest of my world, well the whole family is busy with the wedding preparations, Alina I'm sure is on the verge of going nuts, balancing the wedding and her semester, Aijaz on cross-roads of a major decision, Shaan chilling out in Khi and probably still wondering what he's doing there, Shah g learning the ropes in Australia, and Babar, well we both know how we feel, so...

Next time!

A little break

The funny thing is that we always keep trying to break the monotony. Little moves are made, strategies thought up, plans brought forward, all to break that dreaded monotony! See it's just not the "mono" age anymore. This is the "hi-fi stereo" age, where everything has to be dynamic and constantly changing. I guess our acceptance and appreciation for each other has ended. Is this the reason that now when you hear marriage, you automatically think divorce? When you hear of some blossoming high-school romance, you know it's doomed! Even friendships these days have somehow become fickle, and keep changing at a mercurial rate!

See I remember my grandmother and how happy she was getting up at 4-5 in the morning, offering her Fajr prayers, reciting the Quran, then heaving two pieces of bread with tea...Every single day I saw her do that (of course until she lost her sight, and then her mind), and still when I shut my eyes to think of peace, I can see her sitting on her little bed, her little hands going over the large version of the Quran. Her copy of the Quran was just huge, the biggest I've seen yet!

She never complained of monotony, she never rallied with her neighbours for equal rights, she never even complained when she was treated like shit in her last days in this world. It isn't that she wasn't educated, her very early morning routine was followed by a late morning routine of reading the news paper, always. She was fully aware of all that surrounded her, all the changes happening in this world about her. I think (even though I'm not sure) that she was there at the public address in which Liaqat Ali Khan was shot. I'm sure she was there every time a new KL Saighal film was released.

See she was at peace with her life, she didn't long for change, she knew how to appreciate how wonderful things were as they were. And it's not like she had it easy. Lost her husband quite early. Then saw her grown son at the peak of his youth die the most tragic death. She was also witness to some extreme financial upheavals. But she trod on, steady and sure. Always calm, at peace, and loving it. Not trying to overcome any monotony but just making most of whatever was thrown her way.

And now, now I see all these friends, family, people in general around me. All have one thing in common, they are all restless, as if trying to break free from earth's orbit. I am probably front row among all these people, who want change, but have no idea what that change is.

See even the movies we love are the ones in which something unexpected happens, and even our reality shows have nothing to do the with the reality of life. We just see glimpses of the changes we would love so much in these shows.

I guess the solution to all this is slowing down, we are moving too fast to feel what we are feeling at the moment, we are always interested in what lies ahead. I guess this is the ideal time to take up fortune telling as a profession. A Masters in Palmistry or something, because everyone is interested in that, and there's definitely a big buck in that!

But I feel that if we slow down, relax and just look around us, and fully absorb all that surrounds us, this restlessness would seize to exist, and then maybe, just maybe, we'd all be like my grandmother...

Happy with what we have, and not dying of desperation for what we want!

OK, that's enough bleak thoughts for now! Hey, not bleak, but hopeful thoughts! Yeah right!

So yesterday my mother and Alina went over to buy the bridal dress for Alina, and also evaluated the options that would make me resemble a clown the most on the wedding day. That must've been fun.

Hey Osama showed up out of nowhere, on an 8 hour notice, and well, this week should be nice! See the monotony broken. Ha ha!

Had a nice long chat with Babar today, and want to save some portions with me, so I'd just paste them here.


fraz_nayyar: waisay when usama called me day before at night and said he was coming, i thought u'd be giving a surprise as well, kay daikh fuzzay main aa gaya, visa lag gaya
mbabarhaq: kaash
fraz_nayyar: wohee na
fraz_nayyar: kaashhhh...
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fraz_nayyar: yaadaain...
fraz_nayyar: waaday...
fraz_nayyar: awaaz daytay na KAASHHhhh...
fraz_nayyar: ha ha
mbabarhaq: uffffffff how good were all the khookas and our meeting
mbabarhaq: even if we met once a week it really provide a lot of comfort
fraz_nayyar: haan, and i never really appreciated that fully
fraz_nayyar: the importance of just sitting there with the flies and cups of tea and sub standard cigarettes!
mbabarhaq: qasam say
mbabarhaq: lying on the manjees
fraz_nayyar: hai! aur woh jo baan kay nishaan par jaatay thay haatoan par
fraz_nayyar: ustaad g cheeni thoree ghat rakhna
mbabarhaq: uffff kitnee freedom theee
mbabarhaq: raaat koo 12 bajay muree bike per
mbabarhaq: sounds like a fantasy
fraz_nayyar: i just took a very very long breath
fraz_nayyar: jaa rahay hain, urtay huay
fraz_nayyar: burrrrrrrrrrrrrrmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
fraz_nayyar: babar token daaal
fraz_nayyar: beech main taqreebna game over bhee ho gaya tha
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fraz_nayyar: waisay babar honestly, ab naheen lagta aisa time phir aayay ga
mbabarhaq: yup lagta tu yoon hee hai
mbabarhaq: but if we get together tu who knoes
mbabarhaq: might get the energy again
fraz_nayyar: haan yeh to hai
fraz_nayyar: waisay energy kee jab zaroorat partee hai to nikal hee aatee hai!
mbabarhaq: woheee na
mbabarhaq: ufff v swam all the way to my place
mbabarhaq: and worked non stop for hours and hours
fraz_nayyar: ha ha
fraz_nayyar: yaara woh to main bhool hee gaya tha
fraz_nayyar: nobody wud believe that waisay
mbabarhaq: threw away our mid term paper just like that
fraz_nayyar: that we swam to ur place wearing our boots
fraz_nayyar: haha
fraz_nayyar: got a 1 in that course
fraz_nayyar: waisay i blew away a mid twice, once with Aijaz, and teh otehr time with u
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But the game never got over, and well that's good isn't it! Is it?

Next time then!