A 4-Month Hiatus

So, I've been away from this world for 4 months. Well not completely away, as I did come to the blogs I like to follow, but I did try to refrain from making my presence felt. The endeavor, however, had more to do with eternal procrastination then being pseudo-intellectual.

Everything has changed in these last 4 months. The earth is now a completely peaceful place. All the wars have ended. People have stopped fighting, lying, cheating, and moralizing. There hasn't been an un-natural death in these past 4 months, and you can now only die from smoking or boredom.

All the former members of Led Zeppelin have embraced the existence of God and are now working to erase Lucifer from their memories. On the other hand, Pink Floyd's "Lucifer Sam" will now be referred to as "Our adoring uncle Sam".

Children can now speak to strangers without the fear of being touched in their naughty places. The word rape has been removed from all dictionaries, as it is not relevant anymore, and no one understands its meaning.

The Israelis and Palestinians packed their bags and have gone fishing. Of course they are fishing on the principal of catch and release. The fish hooks are made of jello instead of pointy metal. People have stopped eating meat, as animals have equal rights now.

The terrorists are collaborating with Disney to make a new animated movie about grilling "humus" in caves.

The armies all over the world have been disbanded, and all the released soldiers have revived the hippy culture. They're all currently writing a book titled "A 1001 uses of pot".

The only worries now are the worsening state of the Carolina Hurricanes, and what the whole world should do with this newly found euphoria.

I, in the meantime have sprouted wings and am taking flying lessons with pigs...