A conversation I had with myself recently

"So where are you going?"

"In search of the new and the unknown."

" Hah...where is this new and unknown?"

"Hmm...at someplace I haven't been before."

"But why the search for the new and the unknown, why not the comfort of the tried and familiar?"

"Human nature I think."

"But isn't human nature finding comfort in familiarity?"

"Well...if that was true then we would still be stuck in the stone age."

"How can you say that?"

"Well that was the familiar then, but it was the quest for the unknown that took us from there to central air..."

"But if that is human nature, then how do you ever settle down?"

"I never said we ever find peace in settling down?"

"You know, finding that perfect other, falling in love, settling down...the whole shebang..."

"If that were the case, then all the great love stories wouldn't have been tragedies."

"There must be some great love stories with your typical rom-com ending..."

"Yes, but all your rom-coms end where life begin! Name one great love story that went to a complete conclusion with that sort of an ending...better yet, no need to search for a great love story with that kind of an ending, name one person you know who found the perfect other and settled down happily ever after...it's always moving on in search of something new and unkown followed by that!"

"So what does that mean?"

"Nothing I guess...eventually all of us feel the killer need to settle down in the comfort of what we are familiar with, but our instinct says otherwise..."

"In other words...we're fucked aren't we?"

"I guess...but whatever man!"

The first of a kind

I left the States with the notion that I'd be going back in two weeks. A quick trip back home, some family fun, and then back to the work base. However three months down, all I can say is that I cannot help but marvel at the unpredictability of life! A family emergency, some changes in organizational focus, and a Ramadam later, I find myself headed for Riyadh, Saudi Arabia. And the change in destination couldn't have been a bigger contrast. I have spent my last few days applying for visas, and finding out about the kind of Hijaab I would need for Alina. But the good thing is that you can still smoke over there, given that a "shurta" doesn't stop you who might go on offensive yelling "forbidden...forbidden".

But the best thing is that I can go for Umrah, and if luck sides with me, then for Hajj as well...I have my fingers crossed for that, and I have a feeling that God's calling me to His land for exactly this purpose. However there's this whole different agenda of a CRM implementation. But whatever happens, I am sure this would be an experience to remember. With all the contradictory feedback I keep getting, I am not sure if it would be an experience to cherish (about 70% of the ppl I know feel it would be that) or an experience that would make me shiver! My poor colleague who had to spend about 20 hours in jail, still shivers at the mention of it.

But I guess that can be said about any place you visit, given the direction we're taking our world in. I am trying hard these last few posts to keep away from that, for everything just seems like another futile exercise. I guess the key is to live for the completely mundane things. So right now my ambitions reside in watching Babel, buying my first SLR camera (which I keep promising Alina, I won't let her use), and having that perfect cup of coffee. And ever since Naufal went sky diving, I've added that to my list as well.

So once again I am packing all my bags, this time Alina's along with mine, and am getting ready to head off into something that is completely unknown for me. But I guess this is the essence of traveling, going into the true unknown!

Once again I prepare to leave the familiar for the totally new. It would be sad leaving the beloved roads, trees, heck everything of Isloo. But the trick is to think of it in terms of 3 months...3 months and I'll be back here, getting ready with the rest of Isloo to welcome the sweltering summers again.

Camel markets and mud castles, desert sand and crimson skies, here I come...

Optimistic fool!

Sometimes I remind myself of Candide, that foolish optimist created by Voltaire, it's just that I haven't stumbled across lands where gold and diamonds are treated like trash! But right now I am calling myself an optimistic fool because of the state of Pakistani cricket, and the fact that I am still rooting for them in the world cup!

The biggest blow was dealt to me today, with Shoib getting a 2 year ban and Asif walking out with 1 year. But the first ban is very important for me, for that would mean the end of a highly erratic (they don't get any more mercurial then this) career and one of my favaourite cricketing personalities.

Here are a couple of articles about the flawed genius I liked. Why do they feel like obituaries?

The wings, they have been clipped

A tale of intrigue, injuries and incidents

Not only has Shoib's removal dented Pakistan's chances with the world cup, it has indeed lost cricket the biggest showman it had...but still I feel there is hope for this injured side, for it is in adversary that they sail the smoothest!

Yesterday as I sat in the comfort of my home, I too felt like a smooth sailing ship. What was that ship Prince Caspian sailed in the Narnia books? Anyone? Just like that wonderful little ship, facing all sorts of adversity but still amounting to one heck of a journey. It's wonderful how this trance like feeling can just come over you for no reason at all. And then you float away in it, like in a Pink Floyd song specially if you've had some quality weed.

Right now, I am sitting at work, and am trying to recreate that loving feeling, but even though I know how it was, I really can't visualize it in my brain to recreate it. But therein lies the charm of such feelings. Their unexpected arrivals, triggered by the un-named mysteries of this world. Once you feel it, you feel like living forever and ever, just in the hope that it might come again. Like falling in love and how sweet, warm and fuzzy it felt, and then hanging on to that love in the hope to encounter that loving feeling all over again!

Next time then...

I hate being irregular!

This might come as a surprise because I have been very irregular in my favourtie pass time for the last 2-3 months! Somehow blogging hasn't come easy, and the excuse is the same, not able to blog when I want to, and then when I can, I don't want to...

But here I am now, and let's live in the here and now. The way things are going in the world, I believe in this age old wisdom more and more. Just day before 86 people, mostly children, were blown up to find one terrorist. Somehow life is a price we are always willing to pay. I wonder what we can do to increase the worth of life, for there was a time when I thought that the notion of having an ice cream in the freezing December nights of Isloo was enough to realize the it's worth. Foolish me!

So Eid came and went, and this time I couldn't indulge myself in my ritual Eid post. But it was fun, filled with family (and I mean lots of family, say 38 ppl in my little home) and a whole lot more of utter chaos. Just the way I like my Eids! Having the misfortune to spend an Eid here and there on my own in some lone corner of the world, I have really begun to appreciate all that my family offers me. Usually I am baffled by the feminine need to spend endlessly on clothes and shoes, but the dress Alina got made for Eid made me think otherwise...it was worth it! BTW am still baffled about the shoes!

And just last night I got back from a whirlwind tour of Lahore (usual excuse...cousin's wedding). In 24 hours, I managed to attend a wedding, hang out with all the cousins I was missing, treat the missus to what the Lahori's call "bun paluster" (it's an egg and chicken burger made in butter, lots and lots of butter, and you have to try it, for I cannot explain it), worked over my cell phone, tried the famous Jhelum fish (caught an hour before consumption, trust me that's the only way to eat fish), enjoy countless Kishore songs that I grew up loving, pick small cute fights with Alina, and for a change manage regular prayers in between! Even though my head is still spinning from the whirl wind tour, it seems worth all the whiles. I'll admit that it's been sometime since I have been totally at peace with myself and my surroundings, and during the last 24 hours, I was just that. It seems I need to be on the road and travel around a 1000 kms withing 24 hours to do that.

Oh yes, and my travel bug is alive again, now it's off to Saudi Arabia. Good thing is that Alina will by my side this time around, and I have heard wonderful things about the fried chicken they have there! The only problem I foresee is that the application I will be working on and all the data is going to be in Arabic, and I can't speak a word of it, but that should be fun, at least it should make up some interesting posts.

Naufal sent me his sky diving pics, and all I can say is wow! Even since I have received the pics, I have been trying to figure how he felt before, during and after the jump! I guess freedom unlimited. Even though you're still in a trance of gravity, you are free to look upon the world like the heavens.

All my friends seem to have settled into nice rhythms. Babar is settled back in Isloo and on a land buying spree, Aijaz is running around as always, all the time catching up with life (we had another discussion in the long list of discussion to make some sort of a movie), Zeeshan is on the edge with the new business absorbing all the stress like a black hole, Ali's good and "nikahofied", MA is his usual self, and it's been raining Naufal in Syracuse!

And there's something big brewing in the background, which I'll bring into the blog world when it's confirmed.

So here's to hoping that I can bring some consistency into my wonderful world as well, and start blogging regularly...

Have fun...and live in the here and now